I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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