You're my little dorito
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
