Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
