My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
