Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
