He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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