If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
