Me. At least after what I've been through.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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