still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
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It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
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I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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