Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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