never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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