i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
