No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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