i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
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Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
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is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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