yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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