We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
