Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
