I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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