Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
