yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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