better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
