So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
