you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
