Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
