how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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