this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
