Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
