uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
