see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
