talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Randomize
