I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The struggles of a small town man whore
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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