guys are not supposed to queef...right?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Randomize
