This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize