Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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