hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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