I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
