I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont lie about slip and slides
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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