do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
