I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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