Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Can I color on your dick again?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
