We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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