I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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