Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
