Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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