summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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