just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
