I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
