I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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