Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
