would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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