dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
