Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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