Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
