i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So vagazzling was a success
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
