Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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