It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
