I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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