Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I am naked and annoyed.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize