I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
