ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
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Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
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he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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