Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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