I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
