Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
