He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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