the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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