If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
