I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize
