Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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