NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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